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| A planned dinner with Mom at Wine & Growl! |
I love calendars. I am a planner. From mapping my training for the next six weeks to crafting a detailed grocery store list for weekly meals, I thrive on planning. My tendency to plan allows for efficiency, less stress, and organization. However, with this trait, I struggle with moments that force me to steer away from the plan. “Whole Foods is out of their olive oil sundried tomatoes? How am I supposed to make my pasta dish without them?” Or sometimes it’s “My legs aren’t responding to training and I am scheduled to race at Stanford Invitational in two weeks; how am I going to do some Harry Potter magic on these legs?” In the moment, these challenges seem daunting. However, as I have been forced to face more and more of these scenarios, I have become better at accepting a different path. I have grown to be more accepting of little bumps along the road, re-evaluating, and making twists and turns from the original plan. Sometimes it helps if I sit down, rub my belly, and think of the words of Gautama Buddha: “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
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| Soft surface lovin' on Ronaldo Field |
As an athlete freshly graduated from the NCAA, I still have a hunger to make huge gains in my collegiate event, the 10K. This past spring, I trained to compete in the 10k at the Stanford Invitational in April. Mom and Dad had reserved hotel rooms, workouts had been scheduled, and I had booked my flight (Southwest, thank goodness.) However, with about two weeks leading into the meet, I had to be real with myself. My body, my head, and my heart weren’t in it. My body felt worn out. My head was full of self-doubt and negativity. My heart wasn’t yearning to get on the track. I didn’t feel ready and I didn’t feel excited. It was a different feeling from when you register for a race and you don’t feel at peak fitness and you opt out. This wasn’t about fitness; this was about the whole enchilada. Racing is supposed to be the party. Racing is the time to have fun and to show off the miles, sweat, tempo tummies, and chafing that you put into training. I did not feel like I was going to a party; I felt like I was going into Matilda’s “the chokey.” After a number of conversations with family, coaches, and friends, I decided to scratch. It was the right decision. It was time to take a short break, re-evaluate, and get back to basics.
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Finish line at Wharf to Wharf
with Jeanine and Clare |
After about six weeks of solid training prepping me for San Jose Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon in September, I decided that I wanted to get in a race before my “big show.” My coach and I pinpointed the 6-mile Wharf to Wharf road race in Santa Cruz as a good opportunity to get my feet wet in racing again. To be honest, I knew it was the best thing for my training and half marathon preparation, but I initially felt some fear. Six miles seemed too short for what I had been training for. I had not done any sort of hill training. And this wasn’t any low-key local race where I could hide from my result.
Warmly welcomed to Santa Cruz by sunshine, friendly faces, and Chipotle, I felt excited. Unfortunately, I wasn’t jumping for joy when I finally crossed the finish line. Although I had not given myself a time goal, I had hoped to finish among the top three or four elite women, so I was disappointed. Thankfully, the Santa Cruz racing community helped me switch my negative mind frame. Fellow racers came up to me as though we had been best friends all our lives. Also, a huge plus was getting to meet and spend a weekend with two blonde Brown babes, Jeanine and Clare. I mean, look at those smiles! Perhaps I came up short in terms of delivering on expectations, but I was far from lacking in love and support. Huge thank you to my parents, my brother, my coach, my Bowerman Track Club teammates, and my Brown track and field family.
