A Breakthrough

“[Grit] requires turning the ability to work hard, to persevere and to overcome adversity into a source of personal superiority. This kind of superiority complex isn’t ethnically or religiously exclusive. It’s the pride a person takes in his own strength of will.” –Unknown

Grit.  For me, grit comes hand-in-hand with entering the real world, growing up, and adulthood.  Grit is a choice.  Just like happiness is a choice, I feel like there are deciding moments where I can choose to fall into a hole of self-pity, or I can pull up my britches and be gritty.  This decision is not the easy path, and I admit that I do not always take it.

Ga happily celebrating walking without his cane. (Filming credit: Colin Mickle)

The past few months I have been asked to make a choice.  I have been challenged with moments of loss, moments of pain, and moments of disappointment.  The week leading up to the San Jose Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon, which I had been preparing to run sub 1 hour and 15 minutes to qualify for the Olympic Marathon trials, was difficult.  One of my dear friends and fellow elite runner, Cameron Bean, passed away all too soon.  Two days later, my grandfather, who had been battling brain cancer for over two years, passed away.  Both events brought immense amounts of sadness and ache.  They also forced me to reflect.  I felt like the universe was shaking me and saying, “Wake up Olivia!  This is your life.”  How could I possibly have any anxiety about a race, or even running as a whole, when it was my source of joy? Why was I stressing about school loans, never ending to-do lists, qualifying times, when there was so much more to each day?  This morning sunrise, this warm French-pressed coffee, this opportunity to run with a friend--these were the things I had.  These are the bits of life that are precious and what bring value into my world.  Life is so much more than the workouts I do or the times I run.  My Dad once said, “Running is too important to me to take too seriously.”  Yes, running is a huge part of who I am, but it isn’t everything.  It is not only unfair, but unhealthy, to put the weight of my world on my running.  Truthfully, when I feel balanced and relaxed about running are the times I run my best.  Funny how that works.

I kicked off race weekend Saturday morning flying into San Jose and meeting my parents at the hotel.  As someone who is very close to my parents, I was ecstatic about having them with me for pre-race dinner, for expo exploring, for race bib pinning, and for helping me stay relaxed and centered.  I felt at home.

Dad enjoying the perks of Rock 'n' Roll's race expo.

At the starting line, I tried to maintain this sense of centeredness.  I knew the one thing that would hold me back today was my head.  Physically, I could run 5:43 pace for 13.1 miles.  I knew this.  The challenge would be staying positive, relaxed, and brave.  Mile one into the race and I found myself next to a Zap Fitness runner.  We exchanged some words about our race goals and decided to help each other out.  Slowly, we picked up other women and created a solid four-woman pack by mile five.  I felt a sense of camaraderie.  Although our jerseys ranged from Nike to Brooks to Reebok, we shared a common goal.  Yes, we were competing, but we were working together.  Without even thinking about it, I started saying words of encouragement and channeling our focus onto picking up the women ahead.  As cliché as it may sound, we were sisters in sport.  We all wanted to run fast.  We all wanted to qualify for the Olympic Marathon Trials.  Although none of the women in this pack was able to cross the finish line under 1:15, and I was disappointed to cross the line in 1:15:25, the race was a success.  I PRed.  I felt proud of how I raced, which is the first race I have felt proud of in about a year.  I had an incredibly supportive, though unusual, race experience.  This was a moment of rediscovering myself as a runner.

Joanna Thompson, Natasha LaBeaud, Maor Tiyouri and I cruising along

I look forward to carrying this momentum forward into the Las Vegas Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon on November 15th.  As always, I am grateful for my family, teammates, friends, and coach for supporting me and helping me breakthrough.