Fulfillment

GF pizza + garlic, goat cheese, caramelized onions, spinach,
basil, artichoke heart & chicken sausage - the more the better

Finishing off the last bits of wine and moving on from dinner to dark chocolate, we slowly shift the conversation from the latest King’s draft picks and the successful gluten free pizza crust.  Just like any typical Mickle-Stroud gathering, Mama Mickle and Mama Stroud bring the table conversation to a deeper level.  Mama Mickle asks the table, “What do you need to be happy?”  This question led to a variety of answers, but all responses followed a similar theme: giving back to people and creating meaningful relationships.  This question also forced us to evaluate the difference between happiness and fulfillment.  Can you have one without the other?  Is one more important or sought after than the other?

Picnic dinner & a view with my dear Eleanor at Skidmore Bluffs in NE Portland

Although there was some disagreement about the differentiation between the two, I believe that the two are intertwined.  Carnitas tacos with copious amounts of guacamole, jumping in Donner Lake, and running PRs bring me happiness.  But, these blissful moments aren’t what fulfill me.  I think more than happiness, I strive for fulfillment.  In a sense, I look to keep my glass full.  There can sometimes be fruit flies or there can sometimes be sediment, but that’s okay.  It’s like I can be in a “funk,” or cranky and hormonal, but still feel fulfilled.  The essence of fulfillment is that it isn’t a moment; it’s a state of being.  It’s a place where you feel nourished even when there is pain and even when there is sadness.   

Popping open champagne with friends in Eugene

The past few months, I have found numerous places and people who have nourished me.  They are what keep my cup full.  Whether dealing with a cancelled flight back to my alma mater for alumni weekend or an MRI result showing another stress fracture, I have had my people in my corner.  They were there to provide champagne bottles to pop and they were there to bust more than a move or two on the dance floor with me, despite an injured hip.  Heartbreak, anger, and disappointment are bound to happen.  

Truthfully, there are bound to be a whole hell of a lot more fruit flies flying in my cup, and likely, some even bigger pests to come.  But, if I can remember to shift my focus away from the crappy parts and see that there are people who are always there to keep me nourished, I think I’ll be more than okay. If I cannot only acknowledge this, but also accept this, I think the next year, and heck the next decade, will be a lot more pleasant.  

I’m savoring the hours of sunshine we have left here in Portland and I’m looking forward to a Fall with less elliptical and more running, less thinking and more doing, and a new change of pace with a new living space!

And, always remember, "Shaka Life"